Coffee Makes everyday better

Tuesday.....my day off from dialysis :P Yesterday dialysis went pretty well, no light headed-ness, vomiting or feeling like my heart is gonna explode lol. The whole two and half hours ran smooth. Mom and I just watched tv the whole time, I did not even take a nap. My dad even surprised us with some Starbucks coffee :D Yum nothing like a gingerbread latte <3 
Coffee makes everyday so much better :p 
Today has been low key and slow....a..k.a. a normal day for me.
Not working  is so weird, just staying home all day. All my jobs in the past have been in child care/education. I'm kinda of scared to step  in a classroom with a bunch of little kids with my dialysis port. I usually work with children under the age of five. Five year olds are curious and testy, but they are also more compassionate than most adults sometimes. I just do not have the energy to be on my feet all day the way I used to. But since I am home all day, I try to keep myself as busy as I possibly can. I cannot sit and watch TV all day or sleep, well I could sleep if I let myself lol. I nap a bit, do my writing of course, and I dabble in painting and drawing. Morning is when I do sit and  watch a little TV.I like to watch Live with Kelly, lol shes so funny. And I watch some Food Network. O! how I LOVE food Network. Someday I leave that channel on all day just as background noise, while I clean house and cook dinner. Other than that my days are pretty blah, well not blah I guess. I have my four dogs who I have to entertain too :p. And since most of my close friends are not local anymore I do a lot of Skype with them. 
Well I am rambling. Dads taking the family out for dinner, I better start getting ready. I am so glad I have an appetite, some people in my condition do not have the want to eat at all. I on the other hand have no problem being hungry and wanting to eat lol. Course as always I have to watch my salt, dairy and potassium,but I am pretty good with that :) Much love
 ~And always think positive and know no matter what  tomorrow is always a new day <3

Fluid Overload

So your kidneys make you able to urinate, getting rid of all the fluids you drink throughout the day, but if your kidneys dont work then what? Thats one the hardest things on weekends since I don't have dialysis for two days, watching the fluids. Since I do not have a  kidney all the fluids I consume stay in my body minus a small amount I am able to pee. Everything else just accumulates, I have to watch everything I drink and even everything I eat, because some foods have fluids in them as well like fruits, ice cream and jello. All those will just keep adding up and have to find somewhere to hide themselves, fingers,toes; for me it usually goes to my face. If I go way over, you will be able to tell. That's where the dialysis comes in, it cleans the blood but also takes all the fluids out that have built up in my body. 
I'm usually pretty good about watching my fluids, but like I said Friday night to Monday night is a long stretch, and sometimes I just cannot get enough of my strawberry lemonade and cold iced tea. 
I can overdo it sometimes, just because you do not really take into account how much we really drink in a day. I have to be careful not too be way overloaded with fluids, because then that can cause more problems. Blood pressure can be out of control and that can cause the heart to work harder, and so much more. 
And yes I did indulge in my strawberry lemonade this weekend, but I think I indulged to just the right amount. 
Thankfully tomorrow is dialysis day :P
* I had a bit of scare last week with my dialysis port, a lot of soreness and pain not directly on the site but in the general area, thankfully the pain seems to have gone away. I really was hoping for that so that I would not have to go in for a new one. 
No new updates on transplant, still just sitting ducks, doing my dialysis thing and popping pills to keep me on track. 
Just take it one day at a time <3

Scrub A Dub Dub

So one the hardest things for me about being on dialysis is the whole hygiene routine. Since I have the hemo dialysis catheter in my chest, connected to my heart, I can not shower or take a bath like a normal person. AND yes I still get clean, it just takes a lil more effort and time. I have to zip lock cover tight my catheter to make sure no water gets in the tubes or the port sight  possibly causing an infection. So after Iv wrapped and taped  half my chest, I can get in the water only to my belly button, and clean below the chest, then I have to use a wash cloth and and alcohol pads to clean above, and wash my hair in the sink. Its insane the amount of time it takes, and I do not even get to enjoy the hot bath. I cannot wait to get my transplant and be able to shower and bathe normal.  I think between not being able to pee and bathe like a normal person have been two of the most annoying things.
But I guess its ok as a temporary thing, could be in a lot worse shape.  Blood pressure is still up and down, but its looking much better.

Everyday is new

Everyday is a new day. I wake up everyday, and just breath, and think how God has given me another day. I'm still here, alive. I may not have a lot, and people may go in and out of my life, because they cant deal with my baggage. But God has given me so much. 
O its a beautiful day in Cali, you would not even think its winter. Took my pup on a beautiful 4 mile hike, and its December :P 
Some days I do feel mad and upset with how my life has gone, but then I look back at the path I have walked. Neared death more than three times at least, but God would not let me. 


Blood pressure is getting under control FINALLY :0 course thats cuz I am on five different medications for it. I have been watching alot of Food Network, since I have been home not doing much else., and put that Food Network knowledge to use. Cookin and baking up a storm. Made home made raviolis, was so proud of myself :p. Gotta put my passion and energy into something beautiful might as well put it into my food. 


*Dialysis night tonight, lets hope it goes better than it had been going. The doctor has been challenging fluid take off, and well the last few treatments, we have tried for too much, to the point where I totally bomb out vomiting and all :( So lets hope it goes better. 
Much love and have a beautiful blessed day <3

Its a new year

Well its a new year,a new start, new hopes. No new kidney yet. My aunt that was being tested, she did not completely match. The doctors say I have 80% antibodies and that if I took her kidney as is, that I would fight it and reject it. There is some procedures they can do to help lower my antibodies, but they do not want to have to do that if they don't have to. Doctors have come so far with more ways to get people kidneys, they told us we could try the paired exchange; where someone who has a donor that does not match, can match with someone else whose donor does not match. SO they are giving it about a six month time line to wait and see if we get a better match. They do not want me on dialysis any longer than that because then I can develop more health problems and being so young they do not want that to result. I already had a heart attack scare a few weeks ago. Had lots of chest pains and heaviness. Docs made me do a blood test to see if i did happen to have a heart attack, as well as a treadmill stress test. Thankfully the results were negative. 
I have been doing dialysis four times a week now, because they want to see if that will help lower my blood pressure and take off hidden fluid, I am not sure where I could be hiding it lol. Dialysis has been quite the roller coaster, since the nurses do not really know what my limit on taking off fluid is.Pull off too much and my blood pressure goes from 170/112 all the way to 80/32, that's insane, as well as can cause me to vomit and lightheaded. So needless to say dialysis has tired me out, at least I have my pup home finally to snuggle with :)