Friend Test

So not much going on today, took a nice hour morning nap lol. That usually happens, if I take some the morning blood pressure meds, that's ok bout a 45 min nap then I'm refreshed an ready to get back to my day...lol not that I have much to do in my day. On the hunt for a job atm, and cleaning house before the folks come home from work, that's the only way I can pitch in right now.
Anyhow so friends............we all think we have a good amount of friends right? You go out and party with them and go to dinners, and have lots of fun in big groups, and they are all ready to call or hang out when its time to party. Right?  Well the true friend test comes when something serious happens.

Such as say waiting for a new kidney, and being on dialysis. You really learn who loves YOU, and who loves the fun persona you carry.
The texting stops, the phone calls quit. Its really superficial, and I'm not saying everyone is like that. But quite a big number, and  even people you didn't think would be like that would surprise you. People get scared. Scared to see their friend go through such an ordeal that they never imagined to see them in, and would rather pretend they don't exist until they are better. Or maybe they get the hee-bee-gee-bees from seeing needles and blood.  I mean look at my husband, he knew two years ago about all my medical conditions, and that anything can happen. Guess he didnt believe me, accused me lying to him. And said he couldn't handle all I turned out to be about, course he didnt say it that nicely but non the less, he wasn't strong enough or man enough to go through this with me.
People handle sudden crisis like these in different ways. And like I said you learn who cares about you enough to be there for you, or pick up the phone every so often and check on them.
Its human nature to be scared for people you care about, but to run from it when they cant is just coward.
Or the people who blame and get mad at you for getting sick, well geeez how was I to know this would happen. Sorryy! get over yourself!
I've learned to deal with peoples reactions to my life, I'm not sayin I live sick all the time LOL, just that I've learned not be surprised what life throws at you.
People have walked away all time throughout my life, surprising what fear makes people do. I remember the last time i went through transplant, 13 years old a freshman in high school and i called my so called best friend to tell her what was goin on, she said "let me call you right back".....lol uhhh still havent gotten that phone call, lol. At 13 that hurts a young girl. Now being 24, I understand more that people have different ways of reacting, and you stick with the ones who stay by you through everything, and cant dwell on the ones who left you.
And I have that, my numerous amount of family that stick by me. And my very close best friend, shes like my sister. Shes prolly laughing at me right now if shes reading this, because I'm the mushy writer and shes not :P. We have been friends for 12 years, and not even kidding we have bee there through everything for each other. We both are kidney transplants, both transplanted at the same hospital, who happen to go to the same school in the same grade! I mean how more kismet could it have been lol.
Slowly other friends will maybe get over their phobias or feelings.And I'll meet a man, not a boy whose strong and can stand by me through EVERYTHING life throws.

I love myself and if people cant love me as an entirety tragedies included, then they can shove off. I'm too vibrant and alive even with dialysis, and a failing kidney. Iv got so much love and happiness to give that i cant dwell on the people who only dwell on my illness. My illness is only a chapter of my life.
So if you love my friendship dont leave me <3
But if you do its your losss :P

Sunshine & Happiness to all <3 until laters