Re-zzzombified

So after my ordeal in the hospital they made a medication change from one the pills and made it a patch, well after a week of being on the patch it did not seem to be working to help my blood pressure but making it worse all over again. My blood pressures were back in the 160s and high with bottom numbers of 111 and higher. So yesterday the doctor said to discontinue the blood pressure patch and re-start my clonidine medication. Well I am was so tired yesterday, shows how powerful that medication is, knocked me off me feet for the whole day almost, I could barely keep my eyes open for dinner. But the good news is my blood pressures have gone back to normal numbers. I guess I'll take sleeping beauty qualities over heart attacks level pressures. :p
Other than that things are pretty stable, dialysis has been tolerable, my labs are looking great, well dialysis patient great. 
Family came to visit this past weekend, that was uber fun and made the day so wonderful. No word on transplant yet, still playing that waiting game. Its almost been a whole year I have been sick now. 

Its a good day

Dialysis went well this past week, doctor adjusted my dry weight, so they wont be pulling as much fluid off as they were. Have dialysis again this afternoon. Family come to visit later this weekend, super excited :) Im gonna make my yummy sweet potato cupcakes later today for when they visit :P Watching me some Paula Deen right now while I fold laundry. She is one my favorite :P. Not much else to say right now, Im doing A-ok right now, no sickness from meds, blood pressure is pretty stable for the most part, Im eating great. Just taking it one day at a time <3

"Hotel Stanford"

So last week I was suddenly admitted to the hospital or as I call it "Hotel Stanford". All last week I had been having small body aches and pains, Monday it was my back, I contributed it to maybe I slept on my back wrong so I thought nothing of it. Then Tuesday my abdomen was also in pain, pain like someone had beat me up in my sleep, sore and achy. But I really couldnt think of anything I did differently in the past few days; then Wednesday I woke up and I was still achy but even to the point where my arms and legs and chest and every inch of me was achy and sore. So my mother told me to make an appointment with my general doctor for later that day. Well I got an appointment for later in the afternoon but I didnt even make it .........also that day my heartbeat was a little high when I woke up 120, but I did not really think anything of it becaue it has been that high during dialysis at times, and it just comes down......welll....around 10am I started to feel my heart racing so fast, I had never felt it as if it was going to leap out of my chest. I checked my blood pressure like I do constantly and the heartbeat had leveled up to 143. That not so good...I called my mother at work and told her that I probably needed to go to the ER. As shes driving me I can feel my heart getting faster and faster to the point now where its getting a lil hard to breath. We finally get to the ER they check my heartrate on their little machine and its now 165......suddenly panic set in to the nurses and doctors huddled in, everyone was trying to figure out why my heart was so fast. They even administered an IV medication to try and slow it down and this medication makes you feel like you are suffocating for at least a minute until the medication flows all through the body. They tried different doses of that medication three times and no luck.........so they finally tired another medication and I was getting IV fluids and some more IV blood pressure medications because with all the excitement and my heart rate so high now my blood pressure was around 190..........and after all those meds it took a lil bit but it finally started slowing down, and I was able to regain my breath. ..............After getting all my medical history and all the little puzzle pieces the ER docs were able to think that it was all due to dialysis; and taking off way to much fluid lately. My little body was just so dried out that even my heart was working harder. They kept me overnight just for observation, I slept in a room with 4 other patient, blah. Had to take a heavy sleeping pill to knock out because my bed neighbor sounded like a motorcycle starting up all night lol, Woke up the next morning and all my aches and pains were gone, my heart rate was back to normal, I was feeling back to my usual. I can not believe that all that was due to basic dehydration from fluid pulled from dialysis. At least now I know the signs to look for. Just really goes to show how the body is all really connected. 

As usual I just get back on feet like it was no big deal, next day I started my big project for Valentines Day. I wanted to do something to give a little smile to all my fellow dialysis patients at the unit and to thank the staff for their care. So I baked cupcakes for everyone <3 Took a lot of energy out of me, had to take a nice long nap in the middle of the day lol. It was well worth it when I brought the goodies to dialysis the next day, most patients go to dialysis alone and just sleep it away. I have my parents by my side at all times, and they keep me company and happy. I just wanted to give other patients a little morsel of happiness :p                                                     Welll I think I am caught up on all the excitement in the past week. So doctors lowered my amount of fluid being taken off, hopefully that will help, maybe get back down to three days of dialysis a week? We will see. 

Hospital

Sorry I have not written. I was in the hospital this past week for a few days due to heart problems. All is well now. I will fill everyone in later on the details. I am very tired and need my rest but just wanted to put a lil note to let people know I am still alive :P Will write later

One Day at a Time

I'm 25 now and Iv been through more than I could really ever believe I would have to. As a child I asked my mother time and time again WHY ME? WHY OUR FAMILY? AGAIN! From the days my dad was undergoing kemo therapy for cancer, to the days I was in the hospital for my many different operations, to the days I watched my little brother follow in my footsteps and under go dialysis and transplant.
As a child I endured many things most kids never even have to dream of. I used to question God and sometimes even be so pissed off at him. Why would God pick on me so much? why would he want me to go through so much pain and agony especially as a child? And then not only to pick on me but my brother and my father? What am I suppose to get out of this? Dear God why couldn't you just let me die already? 
And time and time again as God puts me through these painful situations, he leaves me to dangle on the edge just for a bit just enough to make everyone belive that I wont make it this time and then brings me back.
As I get older and the years go by I look at all the good that came out of those experiences, and that God had a purpose for me. I am a pillar of light for others, I want to be a hand to hold, the rock that's hard to budge. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I am a fighter! One tough cookie to break. :p
My whole reasoning for writing this blog is because I think my life experience can help other people who are going through similiar situations, and even to help give people who have never been in any life threatening situation a look into my life,maybe give people a chance to think about what is really important and be thankful for their own lives.  
I live my life with so much happiness and see the beauty in almost every sitiation,not thinking about the negative of the situation, just think I AM GOING TO MAKE IT!
 I want to give people hope. Life can suck sometimes, but you got to keep believeing in yourself. Sounds so cliche saying things like never give up and things happen for a reason. But the truth is just that, fight for your life with every nerve in your body. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and I mean that. You gotta take it one day at a time, and not let it get the best of you. Iv noticed that the emotional effects the physical, the days I felt sorry for myself I felt physically sicker, but the days I thought positively I felt stronger. Humor is always a great way to approach a situation. Yes I'm in a f***ed up situation right now, and I get mad and I cry and all the normal emotions. You cant wallow in your pain and feel sorry for yourself, that will only make you weaker. I look at where I am to where I was in May and think how lucky I am. I am going to get through this! With the love of my family and close friends, to my will-power to live. I most defiently know that things will get better <3

Outback :p

So there's those days where I feel so not sick, so much that I can almost forget that I am on the verge of near death...course then I just look to my left side and there's that big reminder sticking out of my chest. Anywho, non the less had a pretty good day today. The weather has been incredibly warm and sunny for winter, mom and I did some Ulta shopping today. If you have never heard of Ulta omg...welll Its this big amazin makeup and beauty store. I am like a kid in a candy store when I go there. I love makeup <3 I like to be colorful and loud and other days I like to be natural and toned down. It all depends on how Im feeling that day. Anywayy....so spent like 3 hours going down every isle and ever nook and cranny of that store playing with makeup samples, smelling perfumes and finallly 3 hours selected items I really wanted to take home. Then we went for a early dinner to Outback Steakhouse, mom, dad,brother and me. SO since its Saturday I still have to Monday night  until dialysis..that means gotta be careful about what I eat....and I think I did so so. Had a lil splurge on cheese fries....yum :)...and then ordered fish :) smart choice. Its now like quite a few hours and I think something I ate today was a lil too on the potassium side...I'm not sure what it was .........but my tongue is feeling kinda tingly and cotton mouthed and my fingers are a little on the achy tingly side.....it will pass just take time.
So tomorrow the Nephcure Foundation headquarters people are going to be in town, so we are gathering for a luncheon to discuss research on my specific. Speaking of tomorrow, its just around hte corner lol/ Midnight.....well much love all good night.